Day 13 : A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)

Dear Amy Lee/Evansecence,

I feel that almost every letter for someone my age would be penned to you.

You were the face of the tortured soul, the one with no purpose. The reject.

These were all things that I could identify with, and while I can look back and chuckle at the stereotype, your music really helped me.

I remember laying in bed, day after day, listening to your Anywhere but Home cd. That was ten years ago now, that I would lay in bed and cry. 

Your music gave me something to hide in. A world that wasn’t my own where I could be free to wallow. It seems like a different lifetime, but I remember it so clearly.

2004 was a really rough year for me. It was the year I was first threatened with a knife. It was the first year I found my inner strength. It was the year I was abandoned. It was the year I lost so much of myself.

Turning to your music allowed me to have one constant in my life.

I’m not writing this letter for your benefit, I’m writing it for mine. You will never read it, this I know, but I need to take a step back and remember.

Remember a time when things were terrible. When life wasn’t living, it was survival.

My mother insisted that I not take anything from the house so that I would come back. Instead, I gathered what I needed and I threw it out my window in a duffle bag. I showed her that I left with empty hands and I closed the door behind me and went to gather my bag from the side of the house.

I couldn’t be there a moment longer, I’d rather sleep under a bridge than to fall asleep with in that house with the chance that my sister would slit my throat in the middle of the night.

I remember listening to my walkman as I carried my bag over my shoulder. The sense of empowerment and freedom as I knew I didn’t have to go back.

Anywhere but Home.