happy birthday mom

Today is my mother’s birthday. There was a big plan for all the siblings to gather and we were supposed to have a nice day with my mother before it’s too late. Unfortunately, this plan fell through – my brother from out east didn’t fly down, I didn’t take a bus to London to meet up with my other sister, my youngest sister made her way to London from Montreal, but all in all, it didn’t work out.

I truly feel terrible that it has passed, and seeing as it’s too late to do anything, I’ve taken the time to really think and remember my mother. She was terrible at times, especially with me being a teenager, but when I was younger, she really wasn’t all that bad of a mother.

Of course, that’s a matter of perspective. I didn’t know that eating ketchup and toast wasn’t a meal, I didn’t know that people didn’t put shopping bags in their boots just so we didn’t have to buy new ones that didn’t leak, and I didn’t know that a case of beer by the front door wasn’t normal.

Well, it was to me.

I remember nights when my mother would put on her music and have a few drinks. She always seemed to lonely but oddly content with her life. I’ve managed to find myself on youtube and I’m finding all the songs that she would play during those nights. She would get one of us girls to dance with her, and after a while, I’d retreat to my room not thinking that maybe she was lonely.

The songs are all western and even though I thought I hated this style when I was younger, these songs are actually really comforting to me. It’s now my favourite genre of music because it’s so meaningful.

A few songs that I’d hear would be from Tammy Wynette, The Judds, and Patsy Cline:

My mother is 58 years old today. I really wish that I could actually visit her, but my eldest sister, Derp Derp, is pulling a power trip and trying to prevent me from seeing her. Whether this is true or not, I have no idea – in all actuality, the home where my mother is cannot be reached by transit, you need a car. This, unfortunately, is something that I do not have nor have access to.

I just wish I could see her once more before something happens.