suicide_is_not_a_joke__by_kaylovesmusic25-d4qnavvI’ve been going through some rather harsh anxiety as of late and it’s really allowed me to see how precious life really is.

And truly, how terrifying death is; or rather the after death.

So really: life is a gift yadda-yadda.

I remember when I was still living at home in London. I had saved up my babysitting money and all of my birthday money and such to buy a laptop and get the internet for our rental unit.
At this point, the closest thing we’d had to the internet was the free jokes button on our Rogers telephone (you know – the home phone with the screen)

Anyways, I was the only one in the house that had a computer, so I would leave it in the living room just in case someone wanted to use it – of course, all of my files were saved to a floppy and my passwords weren’t saved.

Or so I thought.

I had band practice one day after school, so I got home late. I went online immediately so that I could mess around on Neopets and chat with my friends on MSN Messenger.

As soon as I signed in, I was bombarded with worried messages asking if I was alright.

I’m ok. I just had band practice. Are you okay?

You were just on here and told me that you were going to kill yourself.

Just under ten of my friends received messages like that because my MSN account was clicked to Auto-login and my older sister, DerpDerp thought it would be funny.

At least that’s what she said when my mother and I confronted her.

Suicide threats aren’t funny. They are very serious.

What I don’t understand is what causes a person to do something like that. I get the whole I’m going to change your display and tell everyone you wear pink undies thing but when you pull shit like joking about a suicide crisis, I don’t even know what to do with you.

Thankfully, the friends that I had/have are very understanding and were very worried. They all pretty much said that the messages didn’t sound like me – so that’s something, at least.

If you are dealing with something like this, please talk to someone about it.