You may not hear a lot about adult bullying, but it is a problem. – Author
Baking, Butter, & Happiness has recently had a run-in with cyber bullies through Facebook. They decided that it would be a good idea to accuse me of lying about the content posted on my blog. I really don’t have time for these people because I know that what I’ve written is my opinion of various life events and they all come from my perspective.
I write what I know and what I know is my life. I write about various events from my past just as I remember them. I can’t speak for anyone else in these events because I am unique in my perspective and only I alone can experience that.
I write in support of others who may have experienced events similar to mine and I hope that they can find strength in what I’ve written. In the feedback that I have received, all of it has been constructive until now.
Since I have reserved the right to moderate comments on my blog, I have deleted the cyber-bullying type comments and I will continue to do so in the future.
Baking, Butter, & Happiness is my personal headspace where I will continue to write about my life despite the claims that I am lying about the content.
…Mind you, if I was lying about the content, then it would be considered fiction. The characters that I’ve created then are not linked to the various people in my life. So what’s the big deal?
This article has been reblogged from the Author link above.
It has been edited for content.
One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and “show them who is boss.”
There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:
- Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.
- Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.
- Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.
- Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage – to the bully – of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.
- Secondary Adult Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.
It is important to note, though, that there is little you can do about an adult bully, other than ignore and try to avoid. This is because adult bullies are often in a set pattern. They are not interested in working things out and they are not interested in compromise. Rather, adult bullies are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred, and they accomplish this by bringing others down.
Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may be able to help you cope with the behavior.
For all the reasons above the only way to really deal with cyber bullies is to ignore them. I have had plenty of contact with specific bullies, including once in highschool where I was punched in the nose by a rather aggressive female in my math class. This type of behaviour will not be tolerated in my life and I refuse to give into the drama.
Baking, Butter, & Happiness will not be censored for content. If you do have any concerns about the content or any issues with BBH, please contact me via this page and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Any further contact from the cyber bullies will be filed away for further consideration.