I need your help with this.

I’m starting to really have some serious panic attacks to do with what happens when I die. One day, I will not be here. At all. The world will continue but it’s not going to matter because one day, I will just stop.

I have no religious beliefs and I’m not even sure that adopting some now would be the best thing for me.

That terrifies me, the thought that one day I will cease to exist and will never exist again. During my depersonalization, I was afraid to sleep. Sleep meant that my consciousness was going somewhere else and there was a chance that it would never return. This is what I see death as being. All of a sudden, the world is more real to me now than it ever has been and I’m terrified.

In the entire universe, there is no second chance for me. There is just this life. Nothing more, nothing less. This is really putting life into perspective, but I’m also now filled with anxiety and panic attacks because of the sheer terror from no longer being.

I’m told that dying is peaceful. That’s reassuring, it really is. I want to live a full life, but I really don’t fancy not being able to do it all over again. I have one life and time is ticking away. Every day, I get older and closer to dying. I’ve got to stop thinking about this.

It’s really started to affect my life in more ways that just a slight panic. I can’t eat, I have trouble sleeping. I’ve had to start taking medication to help me deal with this.

I need to get on with my life so that I can enjoy it as best as I can. I was actually told to stop whining today by someone. “Stop whining about your existence and get over it.”

Thanks, jerk. I would if I could. Not whinging, just explaining; Describing even.

Have you ever thought about it? Do you have any comforting thoughts about death?

 

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