Day 07 : Someone who has made your life worth living for
Going through DP and DR at the moment, it’s difficult to really get a handle on things. You feel like you’re just a pair of disconnected eyeballs and you can’t believe that you’re actually real.
Throughout this, you feel like you’re going through a existential crisis: Who am I? Why am I here? Has my whole life been this way? How come I never noticed it before? What is my purpose?
I’m so happy to have my fiancee by my side now. I’m really insecure about my issues, especially those that deal with mental health. Of course, on top of that, there’s the physical pain. He’s signing up to be tethered to a crazy ball of pain that sometimes can manage to identify as a human being.
Throughout all of this, he’s been there. He has been amazing and he’s not leaving me any time soon.
When I was going through my DP and DR crisis, I told him to tell me what my purpose was in life. It was stressing me out to the point that I was thinking about suicide just to not have to deal with my thoughts anymore. I needed a purpose. I told him to tell me that my purpose in life was to be a good wife and a great mother to any children that we have.
This purpose has helped me more than I could have realized. By having him say it to me, it made it concrete and I could finally stop internalizing my fears. I now had a purpose that I was comfortable with.
My fiancee has made my life worth living with DP and DR as well as Fibromyalgia. He’s a constant support and when the world gets me down, he’s always there with open arms and a cup of tea.
On a side note, I’ve been working on different logos and I really like my tea cup. Tea is a really big thing in my life. I also have my princess that I’ve since taken down, but I think I might make her an award logo. Yep, I’m thinking up awards.