Yesterday, I had trouble sitting up in bed.

The day before that, I had trouble keeping my balance as I was putting on my shorts. While sitting down.

The week before that, I had trouble getting out of the bathtub by myself.

The month before that, I had trouble walking to the store.

Today, I couldn’t get off the toilet because my knees were in so much pain.

My Fibromyalgia, that I’ve so kindly named Lamp, is getting worse. Much worse. I put on a happy face and go throughout my day without letting many people know that I’m in an incredible amount of pain.

Table Lamp, John Pierpont Morgan residence, Ne...

I’ve gone from tolerating the pain to having it run my life. Lamp has started to dictate my daily activities and who I can see and for how long. My pain keeps me up at night so that I’m always tired, and when I’m tired, the pain increases.

I always sacrifice my health for others so that I can do things for them…so that I can do things with them. I always push myself to the limit and I’m tired of not having my health issues addressed. There is something seriously wrong with my body and I don’t know what to do.

My doctor says that I need to exercise. Well, sorry Lady, I am in so much pain by the end of the day that I can’t exercise and if I do exercise then I have to take the day off work to recuperate because I won’t be able to move.

So what kinds of exercises do you do?

  • Well, I’ll walk to the store and back – This task alone will put me in so much pain.
  • I’ll stretch or do some simple yoga – Moving my body like this also puts me in pain but after a while, I do end up feeling a little better.
  • I will try my hand at some yard work – Don’t get me started with this one. I’ve actually had to stop completely. My body can no longer handle this one; despite all the water I drink, I always get headaches for three days straight right after about a half an hour of work.

So those are some examples of things that I consider to be exercise now. I used to do hours of DDR, go to a gym, and go on long walks throughout the neighbourhoods where I used to live. Sadly, I have to gauge how far I can walk just to make sure that I can make it back in one piece.

Thanks, Lamp. You Bastard.